


I'm not gay

by Cutie_chan



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: M/M, Murdoc ranting, live blogging, lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 06:20:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11178867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cutie_chan/pseuds/Cutie_chan
Summary: alright you lotMurdoc herei cant be assed to type this up nicely sodeal with iti just need you guys to know somethingso read this likei dont know what you'll call this?a live blog?i fucking dont knowanyway just readi'll take questions in the comments if you want something, which is obviously gonna be clearly obviously stupidi know i repeated those wordsget over itanywayhasta luegoperras attractivasthat translates to: i love you lots in German





	I'm not gay

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, let's get this over and done with....

"The best way to not get your heart broken, is pretend you don't have one" - Charlie Sheen. When people read this quote and think of me, I say 'ha!' And call them 'idiotic dimwits', because that's cliche. Don't try to change the story, just so you can enjoy it more. Take it as it is, for example: English GCSE. Oh I hated that, 'Lord of the Flies' and 'Wilfred fuckin' Owen', they teach you to basically bullshit about the story and to twist the whole thing upside down just so you can show what they want to see.

"The curtains are blue", oh this must mean the author was sad when he wrote this, NO! HE JUST CHOSE THE COLOUR BLUE BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE WANTED IT TO BE! Okay, fair enough, it's you're GCSE's, if that's what you gotta do to get a good standard of living, well then go ahead (even though there are other methods *cough* *cough* Satin) but that's not the point.

Point is - don't change the truth, just because it doesn't satisfy you. Here's another example, the one that made me start on this bloody rant in the first place, me and 2D. Now you're all probably getting excited, "OMG! He mentioned his name, that's so cute!" Yeah whatever, he's in my band remember, my band, I'm allowed to say his name. 

Anyway, I abuse the kid, there I admitted it -cause I can really- I know I do, why? That's another story, but if I hit him around the head with a converse shoe, does that mean I love him? I hope not, otherwise I'm giving up on my strategies. But do you get what I mean?

Yeah, yeah I hear all those other people right now saying "love is a complicated thing", "it comes in many forms", but I fuckin' abuse him. Yeah there were times when I called him my mate and stuff, but I said what I meant and meant what I said. Nothing more, nothing less, my mate. Can't a guy have another guy friend without being gay?

Doesn't seem like it, but we're friends, there's nothing special between us. If we seem a bit more comfortable with each other than, lets say, Russ, well it's 'cause we've known each other for longer.

Well, that's what I wanted to clear up, so I'm gonna go now-- Wait..... what? Wait, OK, some bloke just tried to test me right now saying that friends don't call each other pretty and beautiful. WTF...? When did I ever...? Hold on you lot, let me hear what he's saying.... Okay, he's whipped out two quotes, the first one is "What an image. Tall, pretty, blue, spiky hair..." and the second is "I've been watching you... sleeping and......you're quite....beautiful... when you're quiet".

Alright, he has a good point, I can't deny what I said, but-- HANG ON A SECOND! I don't remember saying that last on! What?! You're telling me that 2D said that... The little fuck, anyway. It's like when you girls call each other pretty, "Ooh, your hair's so nice, love your new look". And besides, I'm promoting my band by bigging him up, y'know? I mean, guys can do the same right?

No it is not gay. Listen, you shut up now! I've had enough of your contribution! Sorry about that peeps. OK, OK, I got it. You can only start writing your little queer 'fanfictions' when I say the exact words, not right now obviously.... "I love 2D". But sadly for you precious birds, that's never going to happen, because I'm not gay..... 

"Why did you dream about sleeping with a guy in Dare?" OK, WHAT IS THIS?! You guys are so desperate, aren't you. Leave me alone!! I don't like the little faggot, end of, so shut up already! I'M NOT GAY!!!!!!! Jeez, Lord Satan help me. "I'm in love with tall things, ya know?" 

Oh my, I'm going mad. ALRIGHT!!!!!!!! He's good looking, voice like an angel, pretty, tall and slim, talented, a good lad, everything I'm not or don't have. You've made me admit that, are you going to push me even further? Take away my pride and dignity? You better not otherwise I'm going to repeat making someone accidentally go into a coma in the next two seconds if you don't shut those hippo gobs of yours!

I think I've cleared things up with you lot, now I need to find that 2-dent twerp and teach him how to shut his toothless gob as well. Well ur... That was fun, had a great time. 

See you fuckin' soon, you bitches.

Love Mudsy

**Author's Note:**

> You know what? I'm not taking questions anymore, you assholes  
> *Shove* *shove*  
> Hey! sorry about Murdoc there, I hope you enjoyed that and I'm sorry if I offended anyone with this but let me know if I did. Also, I hated english GCSE, as you could probably tell, but I dont want to force my opinions on anyone so dont take this too seriously  
> Anyway, thanks for reading  
> *IAmGorillaz*


End file.
